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Before Survival

from Fathoming Father by The heartless Artichokes

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lyrics

Before survival when I moved through the world the way I wish I could now
I was beautiful
I was powerful
I was free
Before survival I was, in a word, me

During though I became a hollowed out husk
Unaware of the process that was slowly removing my guts
Learning to escape reality by getting lost in books
Learning the locations of all the crannies and nooks to hide in
Making up imaginary friends so I had someone to confide in

There is beauty in the pain
And magic in the beauty
Love in the rituals
That meant so much to me
And still do

Before survival when I knew who I was
I moved through the world the way I wish I could now
Unburdened unbothered
And sure of my choices
Before survival was before I internalized what destroys us

And afterwards I became like forgotten fruit in the pantry
Rotten beyond the point of recognition
Living vicariously through the insects feasting on me
Desperate to leave these nooks and crannies I’ve been hiding in
Eagerly awaiting for someone to let the light in

There is beauty in the pain
And magic in the beauty
Love in the rituals
That meant so much to me
And still do

credits

from Fathoming Father, released May 31, 2023

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The heartless Artichokes Ypsilanti, Michigan

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